When two girls break up

it isn’t the same as when a straight couple breaks up. Everyone always tells you to marry your best friend, and I truly believe that when a man and a woman get married, they are marrying someone that does allow them to feel more whole. However, women are allowed to feel more deeply, so they do.

I married my best friend just under a year and a half ago. It wasn’t the happiest day of my life, but I was looking forward to what the future would bring. I was never deliriously happy with her, but I was mostly, generally, content. I didn’t need the world, I needed her steady support.

My divorce is a week away.

The cheating hurt.

The lying hurt.

And if she’d been honest with me, maybe the leaving wouldn’t have hurt so much, but that’s not what I got in this life.

I was so comfortable with her, and I could easily see myself spending the rest of my life by her side. But her choices and actions have turned her into something I no longer understand.

I didn’t fall in love with or marry a liar… a cheater. She choice to make those decisions, and the result of that is her becoming a completely different person; someone who ridicules me when I discuss anxieties, not supports me. She is not someone who makes me feel safe anymore. Her choices took that away from me.

I am angry that she couldn’t trust me enough with this truth, but mostly I am just sad.

I just really miss my friend.